When i was little i wanted to grow up to be a disney princess but im pretty sure i just became Yzma
I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.
"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"
This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.
You know whats fucking scary? The fact that I could literally change my life at any moment. I could stop talking to everyone that makes me unhappy. I could kiss whoever i want. I could shave my head or get on a plane or take my own life. Nothing is stopping me. The entire world is in my hands, and I have no idea what to do with it.
"I’m not the girl your mother warns you about. I won’t kiss your best friend or break your heart. I won’t make you choose between what you love to do & me. I’m not cold. I’m not reckless. I will love you more than anything. I will kiss you when you cry. I will stand by your side until you decide otherwise."
— (via hugmoi)